INDIA CLAIMS BATMAN!

The latest Indian claim is that Christian Bale is an imposter. The one and only true BATMAN is none other than their beloved SACHIN TENDULKAR. After all he is the only BATSMAN who has scored a century of centuries in One Day and Test Cricket and no one else in the world will ever equal his record.

When asked by B.A.D correspondents why then does he not wear his mask and cape, the answer was that the ICC – Cricket’s governing body – does not allow a breach of uniform. Off the field, however, Sachin is often seen driving his Batmobile on the streets of Bombay or saving the Indian Metropolis from local warlords and international conspiracies.

To further cement Indian claims, he has now been inducted into the Indian Parliament and will expand his clandestine operations to a national level.

Sir Donald Bradman of Australia and Brian Lara of the West Indies also harbored similar ambitions. Both slept in a Batman outfit and dreamt of rescuing all sorts of maidens in distress – not to be confused with playing ‘maiden’ overs. Alas, neither the Australians nor the West Indian Authorities backed their claims and left the field open for the Indians to enter the cricketing books with yet another first.

The Indians, B.A.D Correspondents were told, are also looking for a local Superman. In close contention are Shahrukh Khan and Kareena Kapoor. The latter, they were told, has been masquerading as a girl just so her real identity is kept secret.

B.A.D Correspondent